FrieAme AU where Friede's a paediatrician and Amethio's a terminally ill inpatient. Friede's in charge of Amethio's care and keeps telling himself not to get attached but oops Friede gets attached. So does Amethio.

Contains main character death, obviously!

Thanks to my good friend for always contributing great ideas! <3

Gibe visiting Ame in hospital a few weeks before he dies and Ame has some kind of medical incident (like vomiting a lot of blood or something along those lines) while Frie's out of the room so Gibe has to try and keep Ame safe

...but Gibe has absolutely no idea what to do
[Me] Maybe by this point Ame's on oxygen already so Gibe decides to take out the... nose prongs or whatever they are just in case anything gets stuck in there but, well, Ame does kinda need it to help him breathe so he starts gasping a bit
"[Me] Ame seems to be in pain since he leans forwards while clutching his abdomen, but Gibe tries to keep him sitting upright -- otherwise the vomit might not be thrown up properly.

By now Ame's crying and whimpering and Gibe has no clue what he should be doing to stop the pain"
"[Me] Ame throws up again, and this time it's blood and what looks like bile

Gibe wonders if he should go and find Frie or at least one of the nurses, but leaving Ame alone in such a state is most definitely a terrible idea..."
"[Me] Ame slumps forwards again, lower this time, and his hair is almost touching the blood he threw up moments before

Gibe: Sit up. It's not safe to be like that. You should--

Ame glares at Gibe, tears streaming down his face. He looks like he wants to say something but is in too much pain and distress to do so"
"[Me] Ame throws up even more blood. Gibe's growing extremely concerned.

He does have Frie's phone number. Should he call Frie? Would Frie even answer? Frie said he had things to do, so Gibe's not sure if it would be appropriate"
"[Me] Between Ame's sobs and gasps, he seems to try and and speak, but all that comes out is gibberish that Gibe can't understand

Ame: [Splutters]
Gibe: Don't-
Ame: E-
Gibe: Silence! You shou-
Ame: [Cough] e...d...
Gibe: -n't be talking. Don't be-
Ame: [Throws up again] Febe...
Gibe: What?
Ame: Fe... C-Call... [Coughs several times in a row]"
"[Me] What in the world was Ame trying to tell him? What did ""Febe"" mean? Was he asking for some kind of medication? Not that Gibe could administer any. He wasn't Ame's doctor, after all--

Oh. Does he mean...?"
"[Me] Gibe decides calling Frie is worth the risk. Otherwise, Ame will just continue to suffer. He's still vomiting blood, he's still holding his stomach, he's still crying, and he's still gasping for air

Gibe takes his phone out and immediately dials Frie's number"
[Me] Frie doesn't answer. Gibe tries again
"[Me] Frie: Uh, Sir? Is every-
Gibe: Get back here now.
Frie: W-Wait, hold on! What's happened? Is Amethio-
Gibe: He's constantly vomiting blood
Frie: Whoa! Wait, constantly? How long ago did it start?
Gibe: As if I've been keeping track...
Frie: Is he in any pain?
Gibe: Of course he is. Can you not hear him?
Frie: ......No?"
"[Me] Frie: A-Anyway, I'll be there as soon as I can! Give me a minute-
Gibe: NOW
Frie: I'm on my way!

Frie hangs up. Gibe sighs deeply and puts his phone away

Ame's looking over at him with watery, hopeful eyes"
"[Me] Gibe: He should be here shortly
Ame: Mm... [Hack]

Ame coughs and splutters a few times before he throws up again, but this time, there's not nearly as much blood."
"[Me] Gibe tries again to sit Ame upright, but Ame shakes his head and resists with what little strength he has

Gibe: What if you swallow something back down? It could go into your nose or your lungs. Sit up.
Ame: [Shakes his head]
Gibe: How is your doctor supposed to help you if you're hunched over like this?
Ame: [Shakes his head again] N...No..."
"[Me] Gibe: Perhaps if you were putting less pressure on your abdomen it wouldn't hurt so much. Sit UP!

Gibe raises his voice more than he intended to, which causes Ame to flinch. Ame's tears then get heavier, and he curls himself up into a ball, seemingly not caring about his hair getting dirty"
"[Me] Gibe: What are you doing? You'll just be making things worse! Why can't you--

At that moment, Frie bursts into the room, and Gibe immediately shuts up

Frie exclaims in shock and runs over to Ame's bed"
"[Me] Frie: Amethio? It's me. What happened?
Ame: [Hack] F-Febe... I... [Hack]
Frie: ...Hold on a second. I'll get you a couple of things that should help, okay?
Ame: F-Fe...
Frie: I'm here, yeah. I just need to sort this out..."
"[Me] Frie tells Gibe he needs to mix up something to stop the vomiting and something to stop the pain that he can give Ame through an IV, and that he'll be back as quickly as possible

Gibe: Shouldn't he be upright? This position doesn't seem to be helping...
Frie: Er, well, if he's in a lot of pain, he can't really help it. A-Anyway, I'll be back ASAP!"
"[Me] Frie leaves in a hurry. Ame throws up just as Frie's about to shut the door behind him, but Frie doesn't stop to say anything else.

Gibe: [Sigh] And now you'll need your hair washed after all of this. I see you're continuing to be difficult...

Ame doesn't even try to retort. He just shakes his head, which is resting against his knees, sobbing loudly"
"[Me] Gibe: Do you not understand? Or do you simply not care anymore?

Ame whimpers and moans a little, as if he's trying to say something. Gibe ignores him.

Gibe: What would you have done if I weren't here? Nothing, I suppose..."
"[Me] Gibe watches Ame, who's clutching at his stomach as if he's still in a great deal of pain. He's panting now, and his hair's a complete mess -- it's covered in vomit. As is his lap and his chest.

Gibe sighs deeply again. It's a pathetic sight. He knows it's not Ame's fault that he's like this, and yet..."
"[Me] Gibe: Perhaps if you'd listened to me, you wouldn't look so disgraceful. All I asked you to do was to sit upright. Are you really incapable of performing such a simple task? Honestly...

Gibe sighs yet again. He's about to say something else when Frie returns"
[Me] Frie's carrying a tray with various things on it, including two syringes full of liquid and what looks to be the equipment needed to inject Ame
"[Me] Frie tells Gibe that he just needs to administer these shots and then Ame should be okay.

Frie: I need you to sit up, Amethio
Ame: [Cries] No...
Frie: It's to make you feel better. C'mon, just a little bit...

Ame shakes his head"
"[Me] Frie sighs as he puts the tray down on the bedside table. He then gently holds Ame's waist with both hands and slowly lifts him up. Ame yelps in response

Ame: Sto-- [Vomits]
Frie: Don't worry, it'll be over soon. You just need to cooperate, okay?
Ame: D-Do...n..
Frie: Ssh. Leave it to me. You trust me, don't you?
Ame: ...."
"[Me] Frie leans Ame back against his pillows and brushes some of Ame's hair out of his face.

Frie: [Smiles] See? Just like that. Good boy.
Ame: ...[Sniff]

Gibe shudders at the way Frie speaks to Ame. There's something offputting about it that Gibe can't quite put his finger on"
"[Me] Frie then turns to Gibe

Frie: While I'm sorting this out, could you take his arm out of the sleeve for me? That way we save some time...

Gibe doesn't like being told what to do, but he agrees with Frie's time management scheme, so he reaches forwards to grab Ame's arm"
"[Me] Except Ame instinctively pulls his arm away from Gibe and lets out an odd noise

Gibe: Your doctor asked me to. Stop being difficult. I'm just touching your arm.

But when Gibe raises his hand slightly to try and grab Ame's arm again, Ame screams and starts shaking from head to toe"
"[Me] Frie: Uh... Amethio?
Gibe: What in the world...?
Ame: NO! NO!"
"[Me] Frie: He's... never reacted like this before...
Gibe: It's not a problem
Frie: Wait, uh, yes it is?
Gibe: Hold on a moment."
"[Me] Gibe ignores Ame's discomfort and touches his arm anyway -- not even that firmly. Ame tries to wriggle away, but Gibe's grip, even at a normal amount of pressure, is too strong for him to fight in his weakened condition.

Gibe shoots Ame a harsh glare of disapproval, which only makes Ame sob louder."
"[Me] Gibe pushes back against Ame's feeble attempt at resistance and manages to take his right arm out of his sleeve rather easily.

Ame's arm is extremely skinny. But Gibe doesn't have time to care about such things"
"[Me] Gibe holds Ame's arm by both the shoulder and the wrist so that Ame can't get away.

Gibe: What are you doing? Get his medication ready!
Frie: R-Right! Yeah!

Ame's still shaking and still whimpering. Gibe isn't hurting him, he knows he's not. He's barely putting any force behind his grip."
"[Me] Gibe: If you would just listen to people, this wouldn't be as much of an issue! Your doctor could be done by now, and your pain might have even subsided! But instead you act like a defiant child... Though I suppose you've always been like this...
Ame: Ah... Ah...
Gibe: [Mutters] Useless. Truly useless... Right from the start... Until the end..."
"[Me] Frie: Sir, that's enough
Gibe: If you're about to tell me how to talk to my own son-
Frie: Do you... not understand that he's dying right now?
Gibe: ...
Frie: Of course he's being difficult! He's scared! He's hurting! He's not in ANY position to be lectured right now, and even if he was, is there really a point to it anymore?"
"[Me] Gibe: That's not an excuse. If someone's causing problems for others, they need to be scold-
Frie: HE'S DYING! He doesn't even have that long left to live! And yet you're... you're concerned about his behaviour? Be concerned about his physical condition instead! Don't you care that he's vomiting blood? Humans aren't meant to do that, you know!"
"[Me] Frie: Let go of him.
Gibe: Don't you dare talk-
Frie: Or are YOU going to be difficult too? You DO want me to give him the medication, correct?

Gibe scowls at Frie as he takes his hands off Ame's arm. Frie immediately starts the process of administering the medication Ame needs"
"[Me] Angered, Gibe returns to his seat in a huff.

Frie keeps murmuring words of reassurance to Ame as he goes about his job. He doesn't seem to care at all when Ame throws up a little bit on him."
"[Me] Soon, Frie inserts the IV line into Ame's arm. Ame winces as it goes in. Frie pats Ame's head gently after it's properly in place.

Frie: Good boy. Just like that...
Ame: [Cough Hack Cough*]
Frie: You're alright...
Ame: [Throws up a little] Fe...
Frie: Yeah. I'm here. It's okay"
"[Me] Frie injects the first syringe into the IV. After it's finished, he waits for a while before continuing on to the second.

Frie: You should be okay now. They'll kick in soon. One's for the vomiting, one's for the pain. There you go..."
"[Me] Frie decides to leave the IV in just in case Ame needs any more pain relief. He then puts all the equipment back onto the tray.

A tiny bit of blood trickles out of Ame's mouth."
"[Me] Frie: We... should get you changed. Your gown's a mess
Ame: [Whimpers]
Frie: I know you're exhausted, but you'll feel better if you're in clean clothes. After that, you can sleep, okay?
Ame: Mm..."
"[Me] Frie then turns to Gibe again

Frie: I... think it might be best for you to leave. I'll take it from here
Gibe: Indeed. However, it may be best to bathe him
Frie: I don't think he's up for that... I'll wash him later. His hair too, I mean"
"[Me] Gibe: There is that, but... I believe you'll at the very least be needing to change his underwear as well. Personally, not washing... that area sounds rather unhygienic to me.
Frie: Oh. Uh. Right. Yeah. I... I do need to... do that too...
Gibe: Perhaps his sheets too, depending on the state of them. There's not much point if only his clothes get changed"
"[Me] Ame: [Whines]
Frie: It's okay...
Gibe: Right. I shall head off, then.
Frie: Sir, one last thing
Gibe: What?
Frie: Please remember that Amethio is dying. He's not in control of his body anymore. He... He won't want to act like this in front of you either, surely"
"[Me] Gibe: I'm aware
Frie: Are you? Are you really aware that Amethio's dying, Sir? Because you certainly aren't behaving like it. Most parents, at the very least, show some level of compassion for their children who are on the verge of death. And yet you... you'd rather berate your son over things that are far beyond his control"
"[Me] Frie: And before you tell me ""don't you dare talk back to me like that"", well, I'm sorry, but... I will talk back to you like that.
Frie: What has Amethio ever done to you to deserve such distain? Why are you incapable of expressing sympathy towards him? I just... I don't understand. He's such a good kid..."
"[Me] Gibe: First of all, it's none of your business. However, if you must know, then the best I can summarise it as is this:
Gibe: The reason I treat Amethio the way I do is simply because he exists
Frie: ...What?
Frie: What the f-- What does THAT mean?
Gibe: He exists. That's reason alone for me to not shower him with love and affection."
"[Me] Frie: B-But that's... that's not his fault!
Gibe: Perhaps not. But...

Gibe gazes over at Ame, who seems to have, somehow, fallen asleep. Or maybe he's just pretending to be asleep so that Gibe will leave sooner.

Gibe: If I said that he should never have existed in the first place, would that make things clearer?"
"[Me] Frie: Uh... That's still not-
Gibe: Of course I'm not going to be distraught over the impending death of someone whose very existence is a thing that I despise. Who would be?
Frie: He... HE'S A CHILD! HE'S NEVER DONE ANYTHING! Why do you keep acting like he's supposed to atone for sins he's never committed?!"
[Me] Frie: Why won't you at least acknowledge that he's going through utter HELL with this illness? Why do you keep downplaying everything? He's going. To. Die. Soon. SOON! In probably a month -- or less! He's SIXTEEN. He doesn't deserve any of this! So why are you acting as though he does?
[Me] Gibe: So he's in pain. He's suffering. Alright. What am I supposed to do about that? Sob my eyes out every time I see him? Drown my sorrows in alcohol? Cry myself to sleep every single night? Not have the will to live myself anymore? Give up on everything? Lie to him about how much I care?
"[Me] Gibe: I don't expect you to understand, Doctor. If anything, it's a good thing that you don't. It means you haven't been pressured into being someone you never wanted to be.
Frie: W-What does that have to do with this conversation?
Gibe: ...Everything"
"[Me] Gibe: I really should be on my way, but perhaps I'll make it clear for you, Doctor
Frie: ...
Gibe: Not all parents in this world wanted to be parents. And not all magically change their minds once their children are born, either."
"[Me] Gibe: Regardless, you should probably get on with changing him out of those disgustingly filthy garments and bedding. He smells atrocious.

Gibe swiftly leaves. He doesn't even say anything to Ame."
"[Me] Frie stands there in utter disbelief. Even after seeing Ame throw up blood and soil himself, Gibe was still as cold as ever... He still... looked down on Ame.

Frie wanted to cry. Not because of his own emotions, but for Ame's sake It was so, so unfair."
"[Me] Instead, Frie took several deep breaths and went to gather a new hospital gown and a fresh pair of underwear, along with some towels and cloths.

Gibe was at least right about something: Ame's sheets did need to be changed, too. They were covered in various bodily fluids. His pillows were also drenched in sweat."
[Me] Outside the hospital, Ham was waiting in the car for Gibe. For some reason, Ham looked slightly shocked when Gibe got in the back seat
"[Me] Ham: Is everything alright, Gibeon-sama?
Gibe: Why do you ask?
Ham: You... appear to have blood on your shirt...
Gibe: Ah.

There was indeed a sizeable patch of blood on Gibe's upper chest. Ame must have thrown up on him at some point

Gibe: It's not mine
Ham: Then... Amethio-sama...?
Gibe: He's being taken care of
Ham: ...I see"
"[Me] As soon as Gibe got home, he immediately took a long, hot bath.

He typically didn't take baths, as he found them rather inconvenient when he just wanted to get himself clean.

But Ame had thrown up on him. And given all the other... things that Gibe had been close to, he wanted to properly soak himself"
"[Me] For some reason, Frie's words echoed in Gibe's head as he sat in the bath, with only his head above the water.

""Please remember that Amethio is dying."""
"[Me] Frie had looked completely distraught when he'd talked back to Gibe. Gibe closed his eyes as he thought about what Frie said to him.

""Why do you keep acting like he's supposed to atone for sins he's never committed?""

That wasn't the case at all. Gibe wasn't trying to make Ame atone. He was simply trying to make Ame understand his position in life."
"[Me] Atone...

To express remorse over one's actions...

It made no sense for Frie to have worded it like that. Gibe couldn't understand why Frie viewed it that way"
"[Me] Sitting there, immersed in the warm water, Gibe wondered why people thought he had to care about Ame. Was he really supposed to show that much sympathy? Was his son supposed to be that important to him?

Then again, perhaps that only applied to parents who wished to be parents. Perhaps people like Gibe didn't count."
[Me] Ame had been a burden from the moment he was born. Gibe had never once felt any ounce of love towards him. He was a reminder of Gibe's own cowardice. His inability to escape his fate.
"[Me] It wasn't so much of a question of ""was he supposed to love Ame"", because Gibe knew the answer was ""no"". Maybe it was more a question of how, exactly, was he supposed to love Ame?

As it was, Gibe couldn't even pretend that he cared. Because he didn't. He never had."
"[Me] Gibe plunges his head under the water and holds his breath. Part of him is tempted to stay under there forever.

""He's going. To. Die. Soon"""
"[Me] Gibe resurfaces moments before he feels like he's about to pass out. He leans back against the edge of the bath and stares up at the ceiling.

""Are you really aware that Amethio's dying, Sir?""

Was he aware... that Amethio's dying? Of course he is. He's aware of that."
"[Me] Gibe's aware that Amethio's dying.

That Amethio's...

...

...

...

Gibe sighs deeply and closes his eyes again."
[Me] Don't think about it. Don't think about what he's going through. You know you won't be able to handle it. Admitting it is your first mistake. You mustn't. Keep acting like nothing's happening for your own sake.
"[Me] Amethio's not dying. He's not in pain. He's not...

...He's...

...He's...

..."
"[Me] Gibe thinks back to earlier in the day.

Ame had thrown up all over himself and then over Gibe and finally on Frie.

He'd thrown up blood. People weren't meant to throw up blood."
"[Me] ""Are you really aware that Amethio's dying, Sir?""

Ame... is dying. He's going to die. It's why he behaved like that. It's why he couldn't talk.

Gibe can still smell the blood. It's very faint, but it's there. Blood and whatever other stomach contents.

Gibe sighs again and, once more, sinks under the surface of the water"
"[Me] I suppose... I can't keep ignoring it. If he's only going to get worse from this point onwards, then... then his death is inevitable.

What am I saying? It was inevitable from the time he was diagnosed. That's what 'terminal' means. It means there's no escaping it. I means they knew from the start he was going to die."
"[Me] They told me that. Many times. That Amethio was going to die. That he has a terminal illness.

What did I think they meant? That he... was just going to be sick for a while? I'm not an idiot. I know what those words mean. Terminal illnesses are things one does not recover from.

He's... He's dying."
"[Me] I knew that. I've known that for months. I've seen him deteriorate. I've witnessed his body fail on him multiple times.

And yet I...

...Why did not...

Not once did I believe them..."
"[Me] Gibe has to force himself above the water. He wishes he could stay under there forever, not having to worry about anything or anybody.

Not having to feel."
"[Me] Amethio's going to die. Perhaps in less than a month. What have I... been doing all this time?

There was something else that had struck Gibe. Something he thought Frie was lying about at first."
"[Me] ""HE'S SIXTEEN!""

Since when was Ame 16? That's far too old. Ame was still a child. Gibe didn't even remember when Ame started high school. Had it really been three years?

Had Ame ever actually been a teenager? Gibe can't recall. His only memories of Ame are from when Ame was really young."
"[Me] How did he not have more memories of Ame? No matter how he feels about Ame, he's still Gibe's son, and someone Gibe lives with.

No, lived with. Ame's been in hospital for the past several months. Because he's going to die soon."
"[Me] The last Gibe can recall of Ame, before he was hospitalised at least, was after Gibe's ex-wife's funeral when Ame and Spi had gotten home.

Ame was crying. Wailing loudly. Clutching a framed photo of his mother.

Gibe feels like he'd said something to Ame at that time, but he can't remember what."
"[Me] Ame would have been seven or eight years old then.

And he was now sixteen. It had been eight or nine years since Gibe's ex-wife's death.

What... had Ame been doing all that time? What had Gibe himself been doing all that time?"
"[Me] Those 8 or 9 years are completely blank for Gibe. He has not one memory of them.

Up until a certain point.

Up until Ame was diagnosed with his terminal illness."
"[Me] Suddenly, everything hits Gibe at once. His ex-wife's death. Ame's diagnosis. Ame's own, quickly approaching death.

That's right. His ex-wife had died, too. Sure, Gibe may never have loved her, but she didn't deserve to die so suddenly."
"[Me] And Ame...

Ame..."
"[Me] Gibe's son. Who he's resented ever since he was born. Who he despises the very existence of.

A boy. A small, defenceless, innocent boy.

What am I doing? I'm supposed to hate him. I'm supposed to... to wish that he didn't exist..."
"[Me] Ame's cries from earlier that day ring in Gibe's ears. They're piercing. More so than they were during the moment.

They're cries of excruciating pain. Cries that beg for relief."
"[Me] Ame had cried and cried and cried. And what had Gibe done?

Gibe had scolded Ame. He'd lectured Ame on everything he was doing wrong.

While his son was writhing in pain, throwing up blood everywhere, Gibe had told him he was a disgrace."
"[Me] Upon realising just what it was that Gibe had said to Ame, and how he had, just as Frie had said, downplayed everything...

...something inside of Gibe breaks"
[Me] : )
[Me] You can't hide from reality any longer, old man!
"[Redacted] Oh I love all of this... it's so good and sad... tfw Ame never gets a single break, ever.

Was Ame scared that Gibe was going to hurt him when he held his arm?"
[Me] He was, yeah! I don't know how much he would've been consciously aware of his actions, but at least on an instinctual level he knew he didn't want Gibe touching him
[Redacted] Poor boy never gets a break even in his most vulnerable moments and gets reprimanded by his dad for every little thing...
[Me] Frie is seething tbh. He has to be professional about it and the most he can do is remind Gibe that, y'know, Ame's fucking dying and he shouldn't be so harsh on the kid but Frie wishes he could say more...
[Me] He came close to swearing at Gibe a couple of times that day lol
[Me] (He's also come close before but like. This time was a bit different)
[Redacted] Frie understands a little more every day why Ame seems so fucked up...
[Redacted] Gibe needs to realize he is a piece of shit
"[Me] He's starting to! Slowly!

I think even Gibe would realise he went too far with Ame that day. The poor kid was throwing up blood and Gibe was telling him off instead of like... helping him lmao"
[Me] Not that Gibe knew how to help him, but
[Redacted] He didn't have to tell him he was useless.. sir, your son still loves you in a way...
[Me] Tfw this is still a vast improvement from how Gibe's father parented Gibe
[Redacted] The bar is in hell
[Me] Lmaooooooo you're right though
"[Me] Also I know nobody's here to read about the gross shit Ame's body's doing but imo it's important to include since it shows how much he's losing control of himself and y'know Gibe's still being awful to Ame despite his body falling apart

I don't plan on going into details but like it's a real thing that happens and imo it just makes Gibe look even worse lol"
[Redacted] It definitely makes him look worse because he can't give any comfort to Ame...
"[Me] Yeah... Gibe would in some ways be scared he'd accidentally hurt Ame but in other ways he just doesn't care enough. And he doesn't know how to comfort others

Maybe once Ame's at home Gibe finally tries to earnestly comfort Ame... It's incredibly awkward and Ame's not even properly conscious but hey. It's something. Kinda, lmao"
[Redacted] Ame's heart being played with...
[Redacted] Gibe is so difficult to understand.
[Me] I mean, Gibe doesn't understand himself either, so there's that I guess /s
[Redacted] The man who couldn't understand himself after decades!