Hannah2023-12-22 06:42:23
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FrieAme Modern Day Hospital AU Part 2
FrieAme AU where Friede's a paediatrician and Amethio's a terminally ill inpatient. Friede's in charge of Amethio's care and keeps telling himself not to get attached but oops Friede gets attached. So does Amethio.
Contains main character death, obviously!
Thanks to my good friend for always contributing great ideas! <3
Contains main character death, obviously!
Thanks to my good friend for always contributing great ideas! <3
What if Ame still believed in Santa...
His mother would buy the boys Christmas presents (Gibe never got them anything because why would he), and there'd always be one from Santa for each of them.
[Me] After Ame's mother died, they never got presents anymore, so Ame assumed he'd done something bad and that was why Santa wasn't delivering him anything anymore...
[Me] He somehow never heard that Santa was fake so he just. Kept on thinking Santa hated him
[Redacted] Oh no....... he is too pure
[Redacted] Way too pure
"[Me] The hospital Ame's at is pretty low-key over Christmas, and some kids go home for the holidays if they're still capable. Ame, of course, does not.
The staff that stay around throw a Christmas party every year for the patients, and Frie brings it up to Ame at the beginning of December"
"[Me] Frie: You wanna participate? You'd get presents and stuff!
Ame: ...Like what? Something cheap?
Frie: Well, er. Yeah. But the food's good!"
[Redacted] Ame is skeptical about the food
"[Me] Ame: ...
Frie: The kids always have a lot of fun! We even have Santa over!
Ame: Wait, you mea--
Frie: Ah... I guess you're a bit too old for that stuff, right?
Ame: .....Huh?"
[Me] He would be! He doesn't like the food there much after all
"[Me] Frie: I mean, most of the kids here are still pretty young, so they're expecting Santa to show up at Christmas. I bet you think it's a load of crap, but like, you should play along. Let them have some kind of fun!
Ame: Play along with what?
Frie: Pretending that it's actually Santa?
Frie: Oh. Do you not celebrate Christmas?"
"[Me] Ame: N-Not really but I...
Ame: Why would you... h-hire an impersonator?
Frie: Huh? It's not like we can hire a real Santa lmao
Ame: ....W-Why not?
Frie: ...Uh, because there's no real Santa to--
Frie cuts himself off when he notices Ame's expression change."
"[Me] Frie had assumed Ame didn't know much about Santa because his family didn't celebrate Christmas.
But Ame's confused face had shifted to one that just looks... upset.
Frie: Oh fuck me--"
"[Me] Ame: Are you... Are you saying that... that...
Frie: Look. I'm sorry, okay? I thought you wouldn't be the type to go along with these things, so...
Ame: ...He's not...
Frie: ...Aw, c'mon. Don't- Don't cry..."
[Redacted] (tfw Frie is in love with a boy who still believed Santa was real though...)
"[Me] Frie: ...Do you... want me to shut up and leave you alone for a bit?
Ame: [Nods]
Frie: Right. Um. I'm sorry. I didn't...
Ame: Just... Just go, okay?"
[Me] It would make Frie realise just how young Ame really is, for sure... (Though most 15-year-olds have stopped believing in Santa so at least Frie's not being entirely unreasonable lol)
[Redacted] Ame is too cute. Way too cute...
[Me] I love the thought of Ame assuming even someone like Santa hated him and that's why he stopped getting presents when his mother died...
[Me] That was the only logical explanation in his 8-year-old brain...
[Redacted] At least now that he knows he isn't real, that means he wasn't hated by this specific person!
[Me] True! Maybe that's how Frie tries to frame it when Ame admits that he thought Santa gave up on him
[Redacted] Besides, if he was real AND hated him, Frie would hate Santa because Ame is the most precious boy who doesn't deserve to be hated-
[Me] dhjgskjdhg yes
"[Me] Oh this being one of the things Ame asks Spi about... Did Spi still think Santa was real when he was 15?
And Spi awkwardly has to tell Ame that he never actually believed in Santa and knew it was bullshit from the start..."
[Redacted] Ame feels ashamed in comparison... he is not as smart...
"[Me] Ame: Oh... So I really am... stupid then...
Spi: I wouldn't say you're stupid. To me, it means you were just a very trusting child. You believed Mother. That's all it was.
Ame: But it... It's so obvious that he's made up...
Spi: Yeah, now that you're older..."
[Redacted] Poor boy
[Redacted] He is TOO precious
"[Me] Frie would spend his Christmas feeling extremely guilty...
Also Spi would try to tell Ame that he's not stupid for still believing in Santa but Ame doesn't exactly trust Spi's opinion lol"
[Me] Ame just feels very naive about all of it. Surely he should've figured it out on his own... Surely he was a fool for genuinely thinking Santa existed...
[Redacted] He even cried about it! Frie must judge him so much right now..
"[Me] Nah Frie just judges himself for being insensitive lmao
Also I think Ame would go to the Christmas party reluctantly, but he wouldn't stay the entire time. Being amongst such a happy atmosphere makes him super uncomfortable"
"[Me] Maybe Alex is there as Santa or something... Ame keeps wanting to make snide remarks but seeing how happy the little kids are stops him
And it just makes him feel even more alone."
"[Me] Some of the kids who are too sick to go home for the holidays have their parents and siblings visiting and attending the party too, which doesn't help...
Not that Ame's family ever celebrated Christmas that much. But still. It highlights that his family don't care about him, and Ame just... feels extremely isolated"
[Redacted] I hope Frie has a small present for him or something! (there he goes again with his preferential treatment towards Ame)
"[Me] He definitely would!
In my mind the hospital gets all the patients a small gift, including Ame, but then Frie gives him a personal one
Maybe it's a book or something... It'd have to be inconspicuous lol"
[Me] Santa Alex handing out the presents and he gives Ame his one and Ame shoves it back at him like "I don't need this" and Alex doesn't know how to react to someone... refusing a present so blatantly
[Redacted] Ame pls, try to accept it-
"[Me] Alex: That's for you specifically though
Ame: I don't care. I don't want it.
Alex: It was chosen very carefully by people who care about you!
Ame: Oh, please. As if I'd believe that
Alex: Um...
Ame: This sucks. I'm leaving.
Ame gets up and stomps off back to his room. Frie wants to go after him but he can't"
"[Me] Mollie: Is he gonna be able to get to his room safely?
Orio: Oh, yeah, he was having problems with his balance and stuff, right?
Mol: MAYBE SOMEONE SHOULD GO AFTER HIM
Frie: Okay okay I get it! Give me a second here!
Frie takes Ame's present from Alex and goes to track down Ame"
"[Me] To Frie's relief, Ame did make it back to his room, but he's completely out of breath...
...and is sitting in the recliner that he hardly ever uses, since that's closer to the door than his bed is"
"[Me] Frie: Hey
Ame: No
Frie: C'mon, don't be like this. At least take the present...
Ame: I don't fucking want it
Ame: Who even is that, anyway?
Frie: That's Alex. Remember Liko, the girl who came with her friends to do a report on this ward?
Ame: Yeah?
Frie: That's her dad
Ame: Okay. I still don't care."
"[Me] Frie puts the present down on the bedside table and gets Ame a cup of water, which Ame snatches from Frie and gulps down almost immediately
Frie: I take it you don't plan on going back out there?
Ame: Duh. I... I hate all of that nonsense
Frie: It's hardly nonsense. Be more specific. What do you hate about it?
Ame: ...Everything."
[Redacted] Ame would have to admit that he hates feeling out of place and lonely : )
"[Me] Ame: I don't belong somewhere so...
Ame: So... happy
Frie: ...
Ame: I can't pretend like they all can. I can't even be happy like them. None of it... None of it suits me...
Frie: You... didn't have to force yourself to attend, then?
Ame: YOU WERE THE ONE WHO CONVINCED ME TO GO, YOU IDIOT!"
"[Me] Frie: Well, yeah, but you could've said no!
Ame: I DID! Several times, even! But you kept pestering me about it! So I thought if I agreed, it would shut you up!
Ame: I never fucking wanted to go in the first place! You just... You just wouldn't leave me alone about it!"
"[Me] Ame takes his empty plastic cup or water, scrunches it up, and throws it at Frie. It's a rather weak throw, so Frie easily dodges it
Ame: You say you'll listen to me and what I want but you... you still do things like this...
Ame: If you MUST know my actual reasons for not wanting to attend, then fine! I'll tell you!"
"[Me] Ame: I hate large groups of people. I hate being around children. I hate having to pretend that I care about things. I hate eating food that everyone else has been touching. I hate the noise. I hate the stupid games.
Ame: And I hate... I hate the oppressive atmosphere...
Frie: But it's... a joyful, lively time?"
"[Me] Ame: TO ME it's oppressive and suffocating and awful and I hate every single thing about it...
Ame: I don't belong in places where everyone's having a good time. I don't deserve to be there.
Ame: That's something I'll never be able to partake in, after all... I'll never... genuinely enjoy that kind of event..."
"[Me] Frie: ...I'm... I'm sorry. I didn't mean to force you into going, but... Yeah. I tend to be pushy about these things. My bad.
Ame: Well, I guess it's a good thing you don't understand. It means you don't feel like you want to die if you're around that kind of atmosphere...
Frie: Amethio..."
"[Me] Frie genuinely doesn't know what to say.
Instead, he offers to help Ame back into bed. Ame reluctantly agrees.
Frie can't help but wonder why Ame's so... sad. And so bitter. What the hell was this kid's childhood like...?
(Frie obviously finds out later on, but y'know)"
[Redacted] At the very least, he ended the day with Frie and perhaps he was a bit happy about it...
[Me] Frie comes back later to check on Ame and maybe he gives Ame a kiss as an apology...
[Redacted] Cute... like "forgive me for fucking up"... Frie is trying!
"[Me] Frie's not used to dealing with teens and he keeps forgetting just how young Ame actually is...
Frie thinks it's kinda cute that Ame still has these innocent sides to him (even if Frie ruins them unintentionally!) despite how mature and stuffy he acts..."
"[Me] Ame: I am an adult! I'm mature! I'm old enough for you to kiss me and touch me!
Also Ame: What the fuck do you mean Santa isn't real"
[Redacted] Frie, you shady man, being attracted to someone younger than you like that <3
[Redacted] It's so good though... Ame... wanting to be older than he actually is (just so he can be with Frie...)
[Me] Ame trying desperately to prove himself to the adult men (Gibe & Frie) in his life, but for completely different reasons...
[Redacted] Absolutely. And it's wonderful!
[Me] He just wants them to love him! (In uh. Very different ways)
[Redacted] Just a boy starved for love...
[Me] Yes... All kinds of love, too...
[Me] Related: touch-starved Ame is very delicious
[Redacted] It is very, very good... he wants to be touched affectionately but at the same time...
[Me] : )
[Me] Touch-starved Ame with trauma... Fuck yeah
[Redacted] The best kind of it!
[Me] That's him in the bodyswap AU : )
[Redacted] Yes! Love it
[Me] Though hospital AU Ame still wouldn't actually like being touched that much... He wants Frie to touch him but at the same time he like. Doesn't.
[Redacted] Yes. It feels contradictory but that's how he feels
[Me] He likes the mental sensations, just not the physical ones or something I guess
[Redacted] That makes sense!
[Me] I mean it's not helped by the fact that the only times he's been physically touched by an adult male have been when his dad's beaten him, lol
[Redacted] Yeah... And I don't see Spi ever trying to comfort him by putting a hand on his shoulder or something..
[Me] Nope! Spi's slapped him a few times too... (Though Spi's only a few years older so Ame might not associate him with anything, but it's still an older male hurting him)
[Redacted] Why is everyone such a piece of shit towards Ame...
"[Me] Oh I guess Ham's been kind and gentle when patching up Ame a few times but
That's Ham's job and Ame isn't sure if Ham would treat him the same if that wasn't the case"
[Redacted] He doesn't fully trust him then... : (
[Me] Ame doesn't think Ham would hurt him, but like, Gibe could still order Ham to do something horrible to him and Ham wouldn't be able to say no, and that's always in the back of Ame's mind
[Redacted] Oh no... he expects the worst
[Me] In the end it all just goes back to Gibe being awful lol
[Redacted] Yeah! I love it ww he is a terrible man
[Me] He gets better! (After Ame accidentally triggers him and he has to relive some very suppressed, very deep-seeded trauma and it makes him realise he's The Fucking Worst, actually)
[Redacted] At least he got better before Ame died so you know.
[Me] I felt too mean not having them reconcile at all lmao... It feels more satisfying if Gibe realises his mistakes before Ame dies too tbh
[Redacted] Yeah, he can live with a grief that is even worse afterwards (thinking that he should have been like that earlier instead of making Ame miserable his entire life)
[Me] Because like, Ame still resents him and it's not like anything's magically fixed. And it happens rather late into it all so they don't spend that much time bonding or anything, and it's all super awkward, but...
[Redacted] It's still better than nothing!
[Me] Yep!
[Me] And I like the thought of Gibe trying to get to know Ame but having no fucking clue how to do that far too much to not include it lol
[Redacted] It's kind of cute... gap moe
[Me] He's trying! (But Ame kinda wishes he wouldn't)
[Redacted] Aww, Ame...
