FrieAme AU where Friede's a paediatrician and Amethio's a terminally ill inpatient. Friede's in charge of Amethio's care and keeps telling himself not to get attached but oops Friede gets attached. So does Amethio.

Contains main character death, obviously!

Thanks to my good friend for always contributing great ideas! <3

Thinking about Ame throwing water into Gibe and Gibe getting Mega Triggered again..

I wanna scrap the amnesia idea but what if Gibe has a complete breakdown because it just unearths all his past trauma and between that and him being unable to accept that Ame's going to die soon, he just... breaks
"[Me] Gibe still passes out but when he eventually wakes up again he's just... done. With everything. He can't.

But he has no idea how he's supposed to convey that. After all, he was always told to hide his vulnerability and his weaknesses..."
[Me] He doesn't even have the mental energy to act tough anymore. He can't keep lying to himself or to anyone else...
"[Me] But who's he supposed to tell? The doctors... most likely won't do anything.

Ham's out of the question. His job is to assist Gibe, not to fix his messed up brain.

What does he do?"
"[Me] How does he...

...How does he ask for help?"
"[Me] Gibe's at a complete loss. The only other time he's felt like this was when Luci rejected taking Gibe along with him after high school.

But this... this time it's much more intense. He's empty. And yet, at the same time, he's completely overwhelmed..."
"[Me] He also knows he can't rely on Luci to talk to. Luci wouldn't listen to him, anyway.

But maybe Luci... Maybe Luci knows who Gibe can talk to..."
"[Me] Gibe asks to talk to Luci. Just once. That's all he needs.

Luci agrees, and he's been wanting to see Gibe again ever since he found out about Ame, anyway

But when Luci sees Gibe for the first time in years, he's shocked to see Gibe looking so...

...hollow"
"[Me] Luci: What did you want to talk about? We're not getting back together
Gibe: I know. It's not that...
Luci: Okay. So what is it, then?
Gibe: Lucius... I... I can't...
Luci: Can't what?
Gibe: I can't do this anymore... I can't... do anything... It's too much
Luci: ...?
Gibe: Lucius... I won't rely on you or burden you with anything. I won't expect anything"
"[Me] Gibe: But I just... I don't know what I should do...
Gibe: Please... Lucius. Help me...

Gibe sounds so... weak and pathetic and desperate. Luci's never seen him like this before"
"[Me] And Luci doesn't know how to respond. His ex-boyfriend is on the verge of giving up completely and he's asking Luci for help...

Luci can't get involved with Gibe again. He knows this. He knows Luci knows this.

They shouldn't even be interacting at all..."
"[Me] Luci takes a deep breath

Luci: What exactly... do you want me to do? How do you want me to help you?

Gibe can't really explain. All he tells Luci is that he can't keep going and that he needs someone to help him. Even if that person isn't Luci himself"
"[Me] Luci agrees to find someone for Gibe to talk to, and says that Gibe absolutely should be talking to a therapist

In reality, Luci wishes he could just take Gibe and run away with him right then and there. Make up for all the years they've spent apart. Gibe would be happier of it was just the two of them..."
[Me] Though I can't see Gibe easily opening up to a therapist and maybe he even rejects going to one because of his distain for therapy... Which just makes everyone annoyed with Gibe because uh he needs to talk to a professional lol

Spi being jealous of Ame looking like Mother... Spi wanting to have a small and thin body and feminine features too... But he's getting taller and broader and his voice is deep now and he can't stand it...
[Me] The only thing he has in common with Mother is her hair colour....
[Me] Thinking more about Spi having some kind of dysphoria because he always wanted to look like his mother and he doesn't... It's not necessarily that he wants to be a woman, he just wants to look like Mother
[Me] As he's growing up, he's realising that he's losing certain features that he shared with Mother. His voice is getting deeper -- and he hates it now. He wishes it would stay high-pitched.
[Me] His hands are also getting bigger. Mother used to say that he had really pretty hands and long, elegant fingers, but... Spi's sure his hands aren't pretty anymore
[Me] Spi tries growing his hair out to the length Mother wore it, but Gibe forces him to get it cut because he can't have long hair at school
[Me] He hates his body. It's not the body he wants. He wants to look like Mother. And every day, he's getting further away from that...
[Me] But Ame? Ame looks like Mother. Ame has her facial features. Similar hair, too. Ame's small-framed and delicate... Like Mother
[Me] Why can't he have Ame's body? Why can't he be beautiful like Mother was?
[Me] Spi's scared that Ame will grow up looking exactly like Mother. He has no idea how to discourage it, but he knows he can't let Ame do that
[Me] So he tells Ame he's ugly. That he's fat. He tries to convince Ame that being called "cute" is a bad thing since he's a boy and boys can't be cute. Cute means you're girly and ugly.
"[Me] Seeing Ame with Mother's hair infuriates Spi. One day, he snaps, and drags Ame to the bathroom, ties him to a chair, and violently shaves his hair off

Spi: It's not fair! Why do YOU get everything?! Why do YOU get to look like this?! I hate you! I hate you! So much!"
"[Me] Ame's whimpering and crying and all it's doing is annoying Spi to no end. Ame won't shut up no matter how many times Spi screams at him, so Spi, fed up, goes to cut Ame's face with the shaver he's using--

At that moment, there's a knock on the door.

""Spinel-sama? Amethio-sama? Are you in there?"""
"[Me] It's Ham. Who of course has to come and ruin everything. Spi glares at Ame, throws the shaver down on the floor, and opens the door.

Ham: What in the...
Spi: Get rid of that mess for me

Spi snarls as he talks. He's never felt so much hatred for someone in his life.

Before Ham can respond, Spi runs off. He knows he'll be in a lot of trouble"
"[Me] If only Ame wasn't around... If only he didn't have that eyesore to put up with...

If only Ame was gone... He'd be free from being haunted by his Mother..."
"[Me] As Ame gets older himself, he's looking more and more like Mother. Spi can't have that. He can't.

It's just not fair."
[Me] Spi realises the only way Ame will stop looking like Mother is if he's dead. Which means there's only one thing to do
"[Me] Spi won't kill Ame directly. That's going too far. He doesn't want to actually kill someone.

Instead, he'll break Ame. He'll make Ame miserable. He'll lock him outside overnight in the cold. He'll trick him into drinking poisonous things. He'll insult every single one of Ame's physical attributes."
"[Me] Spi tells Ame to jump off a building. Walk into traffic. Leap in front of a train. Drown himself. Hang himself.

If he makes it clear that Ame should die, maybe even someone as stupid as Ame will understand that he should go ahead and do that"
[Me] One day, Spi's in a particularly bad mood. He did poorly in his midterms, and he's actually found himself struggling with high school lately. He knows he's smart, so why is he getting such bad grades?
[Me] Gibe isn't happy at all. Spi keeps getting lectured. "At this rate, you'll be an insult to the family name. Surely you're at least somewhat useful, unlike your utterly incompetent brother"
[Me] Spi hates being compared to Ame. He's better than that waste of space! He's not incompetent! He can live up to his father's expectations of him!
"[Me] After yet another lecture from Gibe, Spi's at his limits. He needs an outlet. He needs to vent his frustrations.

On the way back to his room, he happens to pass by Ame.

That's right. Ame. His stupid, annoying, useless, pathetic, disgraceful, incompetent little brother.

The source of all his problems."
"[Me] Somehow, Ame hasn't broken yet. He avoids Spi now, and is a lot more withdrawn, but he's still functioning. He's still going to school and studying properly.

Why... Why won't he just give up? Why won't he just fucking die?"
[Me] Spi: If it wasn't for you and your stupid mouth, Mother would still be here, you know. Mother wouldn't have left, and she wouldn't have ended up somewhere where she'd die in an accident. If you'd never said anything about what you saw that night...
[Me] Spi: If only you'd died instead. If only you'd been killed instead of Mother. That way, nobody would be sad. After all, nobody would bother to mourn you. You don't deserve to have someone crying about you.
"[Me] Ame just looks at Spi, as though he's slightly confused.

Spi: It's all your fault. All of it. Everything. Every. Single. Thing. Your stupidity ruined this family
Spi: And I guess you're so stupid you don't know when to give up. You don't understand that you should be dead by now. I wasn't giving you advice, I was giving you orders"
[Me] Spi: But it seems like you're still unable to listen to people. What a shame.
"[Me] Ame flinches. He glances down at the ground

Ame: Um... I'm sor-
Spi: It's rather late for that, you fucking moron"
[Me] Spi spits in Ame's face as he stomps back to his room
[Me] Spi has to do something. He has to get rid of Ame himself. Nobody else will, and Ame isn't making himself useful by doing it on his own
[Me] Most of the ideas Spi can think of would have to happen away from the house, and Spi doesn't want to interact with Ame outside. So it would have to be something at home
"[Me] He goes through what he's told Ame. The only one that's feasible...

...is drowning"
[Me] Ame takes long baths, so it's perfect. Spi will just have to barge in there and hold Ame under the water for a couple of minutes. Since Ame will be drowning, he won't be able to scream
"[Me] Long after dinner, when Spi knows that Ame will be bathing, he heads off to the bathroom. It won't take long.

It'll be over soon. Spi won't have to suffer anymore. Once Ame's gone, his problems will be fixed"
"[Me] Spi takes a deep breath before opening the door. Ame's an idiot, so he never locks it.

Spi opens his mouth to sarcastically greet Ame, only to be unable to speak"
"[Me] Ame's lying with his back against the bathtub. It looks like he never got in the bath itself, which is full.

He's slouched forwards, his head hanging down, and he's unconscious"
"[Me] This is... weird.

Spi doesn't like this. Ame shouldn't be passed out like this."
"[Me] Spi slowly creeps over to Ame and kneels down next to him

Spi: Amethio...?

Ame doesn't respond. Spi can't see any sign of injuries, and since Ame's naked, they'd be pretty obvious to him"
"[Me] All thoughts of drowning Ame instantly evaporate from Spi's mind.

It's not worth it if Ame's already like this. If he can't resist and Spi just... finishes him off, there's no point to doing anything to him"
[Me] Spi has no idea what he should do. Ideally, he knows he should call for help, but then it would be extremely weird for him to be in the bathroom in the first place
[Me] Spi knows he'll be suspected of doing something, but this time, it really wasn't him... He didn't do this!
[Me] Spi thinks up a plan: He'll leave Ame there like that, and once it's past the time Ame usually gets out of the bath, Spi will go and find Ham. That way, he can frame it as though he was wondering why Ame was still in the bathroom
"[Me] But... that's another 20 minutes, at least. If he's left here like this for that long, could... could Ame die? For real?

Spi can't explain why he suddenly doesn't want Ame to die in that exact moment. Even though it's all he's been wishing for for years..."
"[Me] Spi pulls on Ame's hair to see if he gets a reaction, but all Ame does is groan a little. He doesn't wake up, but... at least he's alive.

Spi stands up shakily before running out of the bathroom. He needs to find Ham... Quickly..."
"[Me] By the time Spi does locate Ham, he's out of breath and can barely talk properly, but he manages to communicate that Ame needs help and that he's in the bathroom

Ham immediately goes to help Ame, and Spi, exhausted both physically and mentally, goes to his room again"
"[Me] Spi realises that he can't... he can't kill Ame. That's his brother. Even if Ame's the source of all his problems and even if Ame's an idiot and a nuisance and a waste of space, he's still...

...he's still a person"
"[Me] Spi might as well have been looking at his unconscious mother. Ame resembles her a lot now (well, at least from the neck upwards), and...

He was really going to kill Ame. He was going to make Ame like that himself"
"[Me] Spi's horrified with himself. Why would he do that? He wanted Ame dead, sure, but...

...He realises he never truly understood what killing someone meant"
"[Me] But Spi still doesn't trust himself around Ame, so he decides to keep his distance. He won't talk to Ame, and if Ame talks to him, Spi will just ignore his brother instead of insulting him

He may not have made Ame unconscious. Ame passed out for a different reason. But still... Spi had been wanting that to happen to him..."
"[Me] Spi had been wanting Ame to be unresponsive and weak and vulnerable and defenceless...

...and dead"
[Me] When Spi's questioned about things the next day, he just says he needed to get something from the bathroom and found Ame like that. Ame was taken to hospital by Ham, but all they said was that he has really low blood pressure and it was probably that that caused him to pass out
[Me] Spi vows to never hurt Ame again. The scene of Ame against the bath haunts him. He doesn't want to somehow be responsible for Ame ending up like that again in the future, and Spi's aware that that's what his actions were leaning towards...
[Me] And as it turns out, Spi's grades improve when he's not spending all his time tormenting his brother, which means Gibe's less angry at him, too!
[Me] When Spi learns of Ame's terminal diagnosis, he's convinced it's because of something he did to Ame... He can't remember any specifics, but he knows he made Ame eat/drink things he wasn't supposed to (like bleach lol), so maybe... maybe he damaged something...
[Me] But Spi can't ever admit his actions to anybody. So he never asks.
[Me] Unless he does ask Frie one day if it could've been caused by something he did, and Frie explains that nope it was just random, but I can't see Spi telling Frie anything lol
[Redacted] Oh I like this. I wonder if Ame felt confused by the fact that Spi stopped bullying him after a point
[Me] Definitely! Ham probably told him that Spi found him in the bathroom but Ame has no idea why Spi suddenly stopped being horrible to him all the time
[Redacted] He won't question it... he'll avoid Spi from now on and make sure he doesn't cross his path or look at him
[Me] Yep!
[Me] Spi would be very awkward around Ame towards the end of his life because he's still scarred by seeing him unconscious that day... Spi refuses to spend much time with Ame in hospital once Ame's sleeping most of the day...
[Me] Spi knows it's different, but he still just... doesn't want to be around an unconscious Ame...
[Redacted] It's so sad...
"[Me] Oh... When Ame's at home for the last few days, Frie asks Gibe to help with washing him, but maybe he asks Spi too just in case, and Spi...

Spi just about starts crying on the spot. He can't possibly do that. Not after how he's treated Ame's body in the past. How can he take care of someone he physically harmed multiple times?"
"[Me] Spi: I... I don't think he'd be comfortable with that
Frie: I'm not asking for Amethio's opinion. I'm asking you for yours
Spi: ...I... I wouldn't be comfortable with that, either
Frie: Gotcha. That's all I wanted to know"
[Redacted] Frie really got involved with one fucked up family...
"[Me] Frie to Spi later: Man what the fuck is wrong with your family
Spi: What isn't?
Frie: Yeah but like. Why.
Spi: Money, probably. Greed. Selfishness. All that good stuff
Frie: ..."
"[Me] Spi: Here's a tip: don't go looking into your family records. Even a generation or two ago most definitely did... unspeakable things
Frie: I mean my family aren't stupidly rich but thanks
Spi: To be honest, I took a look at the family tree one day, and, well... let's just say there are many relationships on there that would no longer be legal : )"
[Me] Frie, thinking about his relationship with Ame: O-Oh dear
[Redacted] At least Spi realized it before he grew too old ww
"[Me] Gibe would be furious if he ever found out... His whole thing is, like, not physically bullying people and he HATES bullies

(Gibe when he learns he himself bullied Ame: That wasn't meant to happen--)"
[Redacted] Gibe when he learns emotional abuse is abuse
[Me] Gibe: What do you mean that's not just how fathers normally interact with their children--
"[Me] Also what if Spi modelled the way he speaks after how Mother did... He may not sound like her but he's formal like she was and he subconsciously even picked up on her cadence etc

People have told him he has a feminine way of speaking. Spi doesn't care, really"
[Redacted] Oh I like this idea. Maybe it's even why Lk feels at ease around him, because his way of speaking is soothing.
"[Me] Oooh that's cute... Lk would definitely find Spi's way of speaking to be charming and also somehow comforting!

She'd want to comment on it but would worry that Spi would think she's insulting him... She only wants to say good things though!"
[Redacted] Spi has a way with words, usually to manipulate others but Lk sees the good parts of it.
[Me] Spi being all "I am a master at manipulating others with the power of words : )" but when it comes to Lk he can't even work out how to ask her on a date and suddenly he cannot word anymore lmao
[Redacted] It's the cutest thing ever..... he is not perfect and heartless after all... even he worries...
[Me] Spi's all bashful around his crush! <3
[Redacted] It's the cutest thing... even he has moments like that
[Me] Spi being like Gibe and getting all flustered when trying to talk to his crush but with everyone else he's constantly talking down to them and is manipulative...
[Redacted] Please, Spi. Don't keep being manipulative with everyone else-
[Redacted] I do like the thought of Spi (in any scenario) being manipulative towards others with words though... sweet talking them to get what he wants.
[Me] He definitely does! Imo canon Spi is very good at that sort of thing... He knows how to get people to give him what he wants...