FrieAme AU where Friede's a paediatrician and Amethio's a terminally ill inpatient. Friede's in charge of Amethio's care and keeps telling himself not to get attached but oops Friede gets attached. So does Amethio.

Contains main character death, obviously!

Thanks to my good friend for always contributing great ideas! <3

Gibe seeing Ame smiling while talking to Frie and realising he's A) never seen Ame smile before and B) can't remember the last time he himself smiled.

It was probably back in high school while spending time with Luci. Luci was the only one who ever really made Gibe laugh...
[Me] But Gibe's not the type to smile/laugh typically anyway. It's just not his personality
"[Me] He can't be like Luci, who always seemed to be smiling and laughing and enjoying life.

After all, Gibe himself has never enjoyed life all that much"
"[Me] Luci was the only one he ever felt comfortable enough around to smile in front of

Luci remembers the first time he laughed at one of Luci's stupid jokes, and Luci was overjoyed that he'd made Gibe react like that"
"[Me] But since high school, Gibe hasn't laughed once. He's probably never smiled, either. Even when he was spending time with Luci again, as adults, it was different.

There was none of that teenage wonder about their relationship or curiosity about each other. Gibe was too exhausted for that."
[Me] Anyway Luci probably thinks Gibe's laugh is incredibly sexy and tries to get him to do it more and Gibe's super embarrassed but if it's for Luci's sake it might be okay...?
"[Redacted] Tfw Ame could have turned out like Gibe but at least Frie made him smile

(I feel sad for Gibe though, he seems so emotionally numb)"
"[Me] Yeah Gibe's just. Detached from everything. He's not heartless as such, he's just had enough of feeling anything at all. And he's never been good at expressing his emotions anyway

I imagine even if he hadn't been abused etc he'd still be stoic and he'd keep to himself. Naturally he's an introvert. But he's now unable to feel anything : )"
[Me] In my mind he also feels emotions pretty intensely so if he started being sad about Ame, he wouldn't be able to stop and it'd destroy him. More so than when his wife died (because at least they weren't together -- Ame's only a teenager, too, so there's that aspect)
[Redacted] Tragic old man... Lk will fix you down the road it's okay...
[Redacted] He can feel emotions as a treat
[Me] It'd take Gibe years before he's truly hit by Ame's death and when he does he just... cries for hours until he can't cry anymore
[Redacted] I wonder what would trigger the thought of "oh he is really not there anymore huh"
"[Me] Maybe... finally clearing out Ame's belongings from his room? Most are just left there because nobody can face dealing with them when Ame dies, and the room ends up forgotten about because nobody goes in there

Perhaps Ham gently mentions it around 5 or so years after Ame dies (maybe even more) and Gibe's like ""Oh. I guess we should do something about that"""
[Me] The servants do the cleaning but Ham runs things by Gibe to see what he wants to do with Ame's stuff. His clothes, books, electronics, etc
"[Me] Gibe sees the piles of Ame's clothes and when he notices Ame's school uniform, it just... hits him. That Ame won't ever need to wear it anymore.

The boy never even sat his exams properly. He never had the chance to graduate. Gibe thinks back to Ame's letter and how frustrated Ame had been that he was unable to try and prove himself academically to Gibe"
"[Me] And there's something else that Gibe's struck by:

Were Ame's clothes always so small?"
"[Me] Gibe has no idea what to do with the clothes, so he tells Ham to figure it out. Ham asks if he can donate them, since it would be a waste to throw them away, and Gibe agrees.

Ame... really won't need to wear his clothes again. Ever. He'll never put any of them back on, nor will he need new ones."
[Redacted] Oh... Gibe is emotional after all... (and I feel like he can't bring himself to throw out most of Ame's belongings...)
[Me] He'd keep most of Ame's stuff! Like his laptop and whatnot. The clothes at least can be used by other people
"[Me] And then Gibe goes to his study to get back to work but the moment he sits down at his desk he's overcome with emotion and holds his head in his hands as he cries

Even though he doesn't think he has the right to mourn Ame. Even though he knows Ame hated him.

But even still, Ame's his son. And he was only a child. It's so incredibly cruel..."
[Redacted] Thinking about Gibe going through Ame's old school notebooks... and how Ame was so serious and dedicated when taking notes..
"[Me] Oh I'd love that... Maybe Ame organises his notes in the same way that Gibe used to in school even though Gibe never told him how to do it or showed him anything

Ame's handwriting is different, but the layout and organisation are similar"
[Redacted] Yes. He gets glimpses of Ame's personality through his notes!
"[Me] Gibe spent his high school days with Luci. They were the happiest days of his life. He had fun then.

Ame spent his high school days alone. Studying. And being in hospital. He barely experienced high school.

At least in hospital, Frie was there for Ame. Just like how Luci was there for Gibe"
[Me] Maybe after a certain point Ame's notes start becoming messier and less organised and Gibe realises that's when he started getting sick... He still tried his best to stay on top of his studies, but Gibe can tell there's a decline in quality (not that he means that as a complaint, just an observation)
[Me] And the notes just... end abruptly. During the middle of a passage or something. All his classes are the same, except for one or two where they were obviously finishing off particular topics when Ame stopped attending
[Me] Ame also has several empty notebooks and that's something else that gets to Gibe : )
"[Redacted] Aww that reminds me of Gibe who accused him of faking being sick for attention. It really wasn't for attention huh.

And Gibe noticing Ame's notes getting worse is sad..."
[Me] Oh I forgot about that lmao yeah he'd feel extremely guilty for thinking that dhgskj (Like, it's really obvious Ame was struggling from the way his notes decline in quality and Gibe has no idea why he was so horrible to Ame about being sick)
"[Redacted] Victim blaming is good when Ame is on the receiving end of it.

But yeah perhaps Gibe sometimes remembers and gets flashes of the horrible stuff he said to Ame back before the hospital : )"
"[Me] He would! And then the times he hit Ame when Ame was little, too, which he's completely forgotten about

Gibe... almost feels like it was another person saying and doing all those horrible things. Like it wasn't him. And yet it was. All of it was. Those words came out of his own mouth. He hit Ame with his own hands."
[Redacted] Yes! How does it feel, fully realizing the depth of your terrible actions-
[Me] He feels awful <3
[Redacted] Can't use anything as an excuse!
"[Me] Nope! And he knows that. He's aware he has absolutely no excuses for himself.

Ame's not there to apologise to. And even if he still would've died regardless, Gibe feels like he made things infinitely worse"
"[Redacted] Yes! He doesn't even know how to live with himself.

(Also wonder how long Frie pines for Ame here... they are technically soulmates after all)"
[Me] Oh maybe Gibe contacts Frie and asks him if he wants any of Ame's things and Frie's surprisingly still really emotional when he talks about Ame (it's called love, Gibe)
[Redacted] Gibe doesn't really understand how Frie feels because he is not family so why does he still care but... good for Ame that the man he loved still cherishes him
[Redacted] (Ame genuinely loving Frie is too cute though...)
[Me] Gibe knows Ame liked Frie but he isn't aware of Frie's feelings... Maybe this is when Frie admits that he loved Ame? Since it's a bit further removed from Ame's death now
[Redacted] Oh yes... if they visit Ame's grave together... Frie could talk about it
"[Me] Frie: I loved him, you know... He was such a good kid. He stayed true to himself until the end. He was always determined and stubborn...
Gibe: You fell in love with someone you knew was dying? What a fool
Frie: [Laughs] He said the same thing to me once. ""You know I'm going to die, right? Why are you telling me your feelings?"""
"[Me] Frie: And then he called me an idiot. Rightfully so, I must say
Gibe: So his feelings were requited, then
Frie: As much as they could be. I still wish I could've given him more...
Gibe: ...So he was able to experience love, at least. And all the pain that goes along with knowing that your love cannot last
Frie: Seems like he did, yeah"
"[Me] Gibe: [Sighs deeply] Of all the things to take after me, he had to pick ""a fleeting teenage love with someone he could never be with long-term"". Honestly...
Frie: You say ""fleeting"", but... to Amethio, it was more than that. His feelings, in a sense, remained with him for the rest of his life. And I think that if he'd survived, they'd still linger on..."
"[Me] Frie: Speaking from personal experience, it's not exactly easy to fall out of love with someone, even if you can't be with them. Even if... they're not there anymore
Gibe: ....Indeed. But perhaps, if Amethio was still here, the two of you would have stayed together. Unlike myself, Amethio isn't a coward. He wouldn't have accepted your relationship ending"
"[Me] Frie: Uh. You are aware that he was still underage, right? I can't exactly be in much of a relationship with a teenager...
Gibe: He wouldn't have remained that way forever. I'm sure he'd try to win your heart again once he was an adult himself. That's the kind of determined, stubborn person he was."
"[Me] Frie: [Chuckles] Well, I suppose you're right. And if he had done that, I wouldn't refuse him.
Gibe: Of course you wouldn't. The heart is rather simple when it comes to these things. We just happen to frequently overthink our desires and our needs."
"[Me] Gibe: But this is, naturally, all hypothetical. Amethio... is no longer here. He'll never be an adult, let alone your lover.
Frie: U-Using the word ""lover"" is a bit...
Gibe: Ah. Right. I suppose he ultimately would have been your husband, correct?
Frie: ...... I-Ideally, yeah, eventually, but uh, that's kinda... [Scratches cheek sheepishly]"
"[Me] Gibe: Relax. I once felt that way about somebody myself. I understand. Logically, you know it can never happen, and that you're being ridiculous even entertaining the idea, but nonetheless you cannot help but dream...
Frie: ...Yeah. I know what you mean."
[Me] Frie's surprised by how open Gibe's being (well, for him), and that Gibe isn't angry that Frie liked Ame or that Ame liked Frie. He knows that Gibe probably would've been opposed to their relationship if it had happened in better circumstances, but he's glad that, at the very least, Gibe's aware that you can't control who you fall in love with
[Redacted] Ohh Gibe doesn't seem opposed or disgusted by the thought of them both hooking up when Ame would have been older... that's something at least
[Me] Gibe's view is "well if he's an adult I can't exactly stop him so whatever it's not my problem anymore" and like. He wouldn't exactly approve of FrieAme dating but he knows he legally can't do anything so there's no point in fighting it lol (Especially when Ame's as stubborn as he is)
[Me] But in this world Ame never became an adult, so : )
[Redacted] In another life! In another universe! They will be together!
[Me] They will!
[Me] Also I feel like both Ame and Spi would think Gibe would be against them dating men even though Gibe himself did but like. That doesn't mean he'd approve of his sons doing it (in their minds) but maybe one day Spi admits this to Gibe who has no idea why Gibe would ever get that idea
[Redacted] Sure he was neglectful and abusive but-
"[Me] Gibe: I may be a lot of things but I'm most definitely not homophobic. Did you forget that Lucius is a man?
Spi: Yeah but you could still judge us
Gibe: I'd merely judge your tastes in men, not that they're men. As your father, I think I'm allowed to do that
Spi: ........Okay fair"