FrieAme AU where Friede's a paediatrician and Amethio's a terminally ill inpatient. Friede's in charge of Amethio's care and keeps telling himself not to get attached but oops Friede gets attached. So does Amethio.

Contains main character death, obviously!

Thanks to my good friend for always contributing great ideas! <3

Honestly? I feel like Gibe's thought about killing Ame before. Not that he actually would (he's not that stupid) but it's crossed his mind multiple times, especially when Ame was little. If he could just... get rid of the stupid kid his life would be a lot easier. Or so Gibe thinks.

But he's a coward and can't commit to anything, so
"[Me] Gibe for most of Ame's life: I wish he was dead
Gibe when Ame's actually about to die: Wait no this isn't what I meant"
"[Me] Gibe confessing to Ame right at the end that he's thought about killing him... That he resented Ame for existing...

But even then, Gibe didn't want things to turn out quite like they have. Ame wasting away in hospital and dying from some strange illness is far too cruel"
"[Me] Gibe: Perhaps I have cursed you. However, the gods never seemed to listen to me in the past, so I have no idea why they would decide to do so now
Gibe: While I never wanted you to exist, I also never... I never exactly wished for this to happen to you, either"
"[Me] Gibe: Perhaps if I hadn't been such a coward, I could have ended things for you earlier. You would have kept your dignity that way...
Gibe: You... wished to die before your body ended up in such a state, correct? I could have... I could have at least granted you that..."
"[Me] Gibe: I never once did anything to help you. I never once comforted you or reassured you. I was always... always just... resenting you
Gibe: No. It's not you I resent...
Gibe: In the end, I suppose the one I truly resent... the one I despise more than anything... is myself"
"[Me] Gibe: I do not want you to forgive me. Please, if anything, hate me. It's what I deserve
Gibe: If... If something along the lines of reincarnation exists, I hope that in your next life, your father isn't as pathetic a man as I am..."
"[Me] Gibe: I'm aware there's no point in saying all of this to you now. I should have said it years ago. No, I shouldn't have even needed to say any of it.
Gibe: You... apologised to me the other day. Despite you having nothing to apologise for. My cowardice and ineptitude are not your responsibilities"
[Me] Gibe watches Ame's unresponsive body. He's definitely still alive, or so the machines hooked up to him indicate, but it's hard to tell whether or not he's breathing all that much (despite the oxygen mask)
"[Me] Ame looks so weak. He's incredibly frail and has lost all traces of fat in his face. His hair's thinned out a lot, too, although it hasn't fallen out completely.

He's just... a child. Utterly defenceless."
"[Me] Gibe: Why did I ever...
Gibe: How could I have ever... burdened you with so much guilt?

Gibe can't bring himself to apologise. He doesn't know how to. Besides, Ame won't hear him, and it's far too late for an apology."
[Me] Mere words cannot erase how Gibe's treated his son. He knows this. He knows there's no point in even trying to atone.
"[Me] Gibe gently holds Ame's hand. His small, thin, bony, cold hand.

Even compared to a few days ago, it feels like it's gotten skinnier and colder. Gibe didn't think it could lose any more weight, but it definitely has"
"[Me] Gibe: If there is some kind of world beyond our own, I hope you can be at peace there. If you find yourself in another life after this one, I hope your days are spent in happiness.
Gibe: If there is nothing following death, then... I simply hope you rest"
"[Me] Gibe lightly squeezes Ame's hand before he places it back under the sheets.

Ame doesn't react at all to Gibe's touch. Not a single twitch or flinch or any kind of noise.

But when Gibe glances over at the heart rate monitor, he swears Ame's heart rate is slightly higher than earlier. Gibe assumes that's simply from moving Ame's hand and touching him, but..."
[Redacted] Gibe actually wanted to get rid of him huh. Not only once or twice but it crossed his mind multiple times? Fucked up-
[Redacted] (Poor Ame, he never gets a break)
[Me] I kinda want to write a scene where Gibe tries to kill baby Ame but freaks out at himself halfway through and runs away and leaves Ame lying unconscious or something but lol
[Redacted] Ame truly will never get a break-
"[Me] Wait what if Gibe tried to choke baby Ame or something and he digs his nails into Ame's neck so much that he gives Ame a small scar... Ame doesn't remember how he got that scar when Frie asks him about it the first time Frie notices

And Gibe's (conveniently) forgotten about it all too"
[Me] (I'm being extra horrible huh)
"[Redacted] Oh no poor Ame-
I feel like Gibe will really remember all the shit he did after Ame is gone..."
"[Me] Yeah... It takes him until well after Ame's death to remember. And when he does, it doesn't feel like his own memories. It's like it was someone else doing that.

But no. That was his son's throat that he had his hands around. His tiny, infant son. Who he tried to kill.

Gibe would feel horrible about it..."
[Me] Also I was considering having Spi accidentally stumble across Gibe trying to choke baby Ame and Spi's too young to really know what to do but he can tell Gibe's hurting his brother so he panics and runs to Ham... all he can say is "Father's hurting him and he's crying" and Ham has no idea what to think
[Me] But Ham knows Spi wouldn't lie about something like that so he goes to where Gibe's watching Ame and by that point Gibe's already run away (he realised what he'd done and fled) and Ame's lying on the floor
"[Me] I guess Ham calls an ambulance or something?

Ame ends up being okay but Ham is just. Aghast. He can't believe Gibe would do something like that

He can't bring himself to tell Gibe's wife... (She's away for the weekend or something I guess? She's not around so Gibe has to look after Ame maybe. Idk)"
[Redacted] I wonder if Spi forgets about this moment when he grows up...
[Me] I think he would... Spi's only like 5-6 here, and the trauma from it all would make him forget anyway. He has vague memories of being in hospital waiting for someone (he goes with Ham to see Ame, Ham doesn't trust leaving Spi at home with Gibe lol) but he has zero context for them
"[Me] He wonders if maybe it was something to do with his mother, but he was quite a bit older when she died, and from what he remembers, they never saw her in hospital at all

Maybe Spi thinks he was there for his own appointment or something, but... he really does feel like he was worried about someone else"
[Redacted] Imo, he would probably remember the context bit by bit when he is with Lk!
"[Me] Oh! Maybe he does. Not necessarily what happened to Ame, but that he was waiting for Ame at the hospital when Ame was really little.

Spi's too scared to ask about it..."
[Redacted] Yeah he wouldn't ask Gibe at the very least.
"[Me] Unless Spi does end up remember the incident and confronts Gibe who's like ""What the fuck are you talking about"" and Spi gets super mad but Gibe legit doesn't remember

But that would be many, many years down the line"
"[Me] Also I think Gibe would have freaked out while he was choking Ame because Ame actually stopped crying and oh fuck he didn't actually mean to kill him

I feel like Gibe would be so terrified of his own actions that he'd run away from home entirely for a while. He wouldn't trust himself."
[Me] Which just makes Wife think he's having an affair since Ham won't tell her that Gibe hurt Ame so violently lol
[Redacted] Gibe is one messed up man for sure... don't trust him with safety guidelines.
[Redacted] Spi would never treat his child like that.
"[Me] I wouldn't trust him with anything lmao

I don't know how Gibe would end up going back home, but he would. Maybe Wife tracks him down. Maybe Luci gets involved somehow (although this would be before their actual affair)...

Ham wants to be all ""Perhaps we shouldn't go looking for him :|"" but alas, he has to help find the shithead too"
[Redacted] It would be a bad look on the family if Gibe disappears for too long..
"[Me] Yeah, maybe he comes back on his own...

He takes a train in a random direction and spends a few days in a far-off region of the country and once he's calmed himself down he realises that he's just being a fucking useless coward again and all he's doing is being a nuisance to his family -- just like his father always said he was"
"[Me] Ham suggesting to Gibe that perhaps he should, you know, talk to someone if he's unable to cope with things, but to Gibe that's the ultimate sign of being a failure and he's not about to share his secrets with anyone, let alone a stranger...

But all Gibe really says is ""It's my job to tell you what to do, not the other way around"" so Ham shuts up"
[Me] Maybe eventually Lk convinces him to finally look into therapy because actually, talking to someone about your troubles is a form of strength and something that takes a lot of courage! It's not being weak! There's nothing admirable about bottling up your feelings and hiding them
"[Redacted] Or at least share his secrets with a friend! If he has any...

(I also really like the thought that he dumps everything on Lk accidentally lmao, tfw your father in law trauma dumps)"
"[Me] Gibe getting drunk at SpiLk's wedding and Lk somehow finding him alone and she makes the mistake of asking Gibe what's wrong and he's like ""WELL YOU SEE--""

Lk after what feels like hours: Note to self... don't ask drunk people anything..."
"[Me] Lk would approach sober Gibe and gently suggest that maybe he should talk to a professional and not her because, well, she can't exactly help him all that much

Gibe would feel really bad for unloading all of that trauma onto her lmao"
[Redacted] It's funny how Gibe actually feels bad in regards to Lk ww but it took him years to feel that towards his sons..